Self Portrait

Here I am naked listening to my iPod in a hotel in Playas, Ecuador. I had huge expectations for my first time traveling. I thought the act would solve all my problems, boy was I wrong. Happens every time!

Self Portait: Jesus Fish

At the time I was living in a trailer, at a campground, in Tofino, in 2010. The night before this was taken, I got naked in the parking lot while putting my wetsuit on.  I did it in front of a carload of girls who were clearly spying on the boys and I. Everyone got a good crack out of it. Then they sped off in there civics. When we came back from the surf I noticed they'd left a note on my car with their number on it. I called them, or probably got someone else to, and invited them to my place for a campfire. They came. Later that night we'd had a few too many pops, and I thought that'd be a good time to win a girl over.  So I grabbed a wiener roasting stick and bent the two prongs across each and made a Jesus Fish symbol. I had the girls pin me down on the ground. One on each arm, and one on each leg. I had my pants at me knees. Then I waited for my pal Bob to pull the metal prongs out of the yellow coals.

Then he branded my ass.

Then the girls went home.

Then I went to the doctor.

Then I couldn't surf for two weeks...