Soon we will hit flat ground.

Destroy and flourish

Photo by Ryan Muirhead

I didn't really have my intentions set out at this point. No concept from what I remember. This was the first time I used a medium format camera for a shoot and first time I used an external flash as well. It was the first day shooting nudes with these friends, and the second time ever. They brought a couple friends each and I wasn't expecting that. I was nervous. I pretended to know what I was doing. But the film didn't advance and I shot two photos onto the same frame. An optimist says it's a "happy accident", some call it an in camera double exposure, but I just didn't read the manual. I've never put concrete words to this photo. Maybe it because I didn't control the outcome. I left it up to the viewer to do that. That's what I loved about critiques back in the day. Hearing what feelings came up for someone else as the read into it. Their interpretations, projections, and personal stories that stemmed from a piece, or how it was shot.

#UnapologeticApologies | Circa 2010 | Mamiya 67 | Ilford HP5 120mm

Why I don't Shoot Weddings.

Here's an outtake from a shoot I did circa 2010. It's been suggested to me countless times, "You should shoot weddings... Who cares if you hate it, you can make a killing!" Truth be told, shooting weddings are a huge turn off for me because of all the artificial, juvenile, and short lived fleeting relationships around me.  It gives me the shits thinking about it. That being said there are a number of wedding photographers out there who specialize in this field and are doing a great job, capturing those moments and making 10 times what I make. "3k in a day! How could you pass that up Alex!?" How bout 5k, 10k? Because It taxes me emotionally, and artistically. It's just not me. I'd rather photograph a couple making love.

Bronica sq -80mm lens- Ilford HP5 iso400

My mind is going lucid inside itself.

Surfer: Noah Wegrich.

Ghosts In The Field

Two years ago Rachel left school in Vancouver and returned home to Bainbridge Island (outside Seattle) to reset her life. One night, biking home from work she was hit by a careless driver just blocks from her family farm. She was bed ridden. With her new friends out of state, and old friends moved on she was depressed and alone.

"They held the ferry and everything to get to the ER on the mainland. I spent the night at Harborview Medical Center in Seattle listening to three people die on the other side of the curtain- a young kid in a car accident, and old addict, and a dude in a bar fight. It was terrifying and humbling. I wasn't treated for the whole night because I wasn't dying. Somehow I was grateful for that. But I didn't know if I had nerve damage and would walk again, so I was scared as fuck. My mobility is priceless. Luckily I'm just shorter than I used to be. I'm 23 and have the back of an 80 year old. I was stuck in a brace for three months. Depressed and on painkillers. I quit that shit fast. That's when I got my runty, weepy eyed cat named Bonzo from a sketchy woman off highway 99. You can also buy drugs or company by the hour. I was told I shouldn't keep him because he might not live very long. But we're both fine. He's honestly the only way I got through it."
 

As we walk away from the field she gives me a smirk and tells me that the earth below us is where her and her family buried their dead animals. "This hallowed ground we are standing on was dug when my first puppy, a chocolate lab named Josie, was hit by a car. There's two llamas, a blind alpaca, three cats a lizard and some fish."

It's been two years of healing. Rachel is very grateful for her current state of health. She's on route to becoming a naturopathic doctor at Bastyr University, and tomorrow is off to climb Mount Rainier. Jah Bless.